Yuh got a small piece fuh me Mistress?
Me nah eat since las Sunday
Me pickney him a starve
See he belly swell out he navel so
Me milk dry up long timeÖ

           Ova here! Down here! Yes thatís me Sis
           Me cyant stand up fuh long see.
           Yuh wan pieca pine? Guinep?
           Sweet mango? Ow bout a pieca sugarcane? 
           Yuh cyant get that in Hingland rite?! 

English! Hey English! I got a nice gold ring heh
Pure Columbian thatís right, bargain jes five EC dollahs
What about some aloe then? Pick fresh dis mawning
Lord! Look how your lady shoulder bunnup!
Wait, Hold on! You walking away from me?
You tunning you back pon me?!
Is that the manners yíall learn in the US?
You prefer spend you money in the Govament shop?
Cheups Man yíall haul yuh rass.

            Dear Sir, please to tek this conch here from me
            You will pay twice de price on board
            No Sir it is not a protected species
            Is Lambie we eat Sir.
            Madam, this will look nice on your mantlepiece eh?
            Come on Sir, I too old to fish now you see
            Just $8 Sir. No? 6 then, just $6  it will fit nice
            In your suitcase, wrap it in your towel Sir.
            The Lord be praised. Bless you Sir, Bless you.
            Sir, can I interest you in this nice shell necklace Ö?

Road is not beach.
Bikini belang on beach.
Road is not deck on board.
Bikini belong on deck, not road.
You walking round my island lika dat?
You would like me to do dat?
You would like me to wear bikini in Tescos
And feel up your plantain like dat?
Have a nice day Madam.
Go lang you way.

             Yíall having a nice time?
             Havana is a beautiful city, you enjoying her?
             You staying long? I could show you round
             There is a lot of people like to take advantage.
             But I have specialist knowledge,
             Iím a  university professor you know   
             And times are extremely hard

Please donít walk away from me Sir                  
Please donít  walk away from me
                  Please donít walk away
                           Donít walk away

Maggie Harris from After a Visit to a Botanical Garden